Raising Anuraag - The Music of my Life

by newuser09876 7. September 2013 08:38

I seldom visit temples; however, I made one such visit before our child was born. Despite my shameless irreverence, I made two requests. The first was that Shayoni and the child should be healthy, and the second wish was a little self-centred. I hoped that a girl child would be born to us; babies are babies, but you cannot cross-dress your male child in drag unless you want your child to participate in the Goa Carnival (I am not homophobic nor bi-curious, but the Carnival in Goa affords numerous opportunities for both.)

I can barely stitch buttons on a shirt, but I thought I was a fashion designer in the making; and please believe me, I even downloaded designs of frilly frocks with lace. But I am proud of my boy; he is his papa’s boy.  He displays a passion for opening up things and kicking people in the right places. He also displays all the signs of being an anarchist and a nudist, I am very proud of the latter trait.

When the baby was born, I had to sign a document in triplicate in the hospital where he was born; one such grey piece of paper is then sent to the Registrar of Deaths and Births of the Kolkata Municipal Corporation for processing an official Birth Certificate. (That is why the forest cover over the Dooars is depleting)

The nurse who assisted the gynaecologist brought the baby to me, just a few minutes after his birth. At my insistence, and being in my usual rebellious mood, (I added a smile and a few rupees for good measure) I managed to secure the permission to shoot two pictures of my new born. Then the sex determination test, apparently for my benefit commenced. My baby’s blanket was unfurled like the national flag on Independence Day in a quick showy moment.  But my boy had tucked in his little willy and the family jewels between his legs; and I shouted “It’s a girl”  The fat nurse, who was a country cousin readjusted his willy and pointing at it, added in her thick Malyali accent “Sir see it is baba not babee.” “Please sign here sir, and here and here and here also.”

Five months after we were blessed with our son, Shayoni lost her father to multiple organ failure at the very same hospital where our son was born; partially due to an inept doctor, who did not even bother to inform the family when her father was sinking. The ‘circle of life’ can be so devastating and benevolent simultaneously. Here we were blessed with a child who the maternal grandfather really loved. He was a real gentleman; too trusting of people who should ideally have spent the rest of their life in prison, in the same cell with serial killers; thankfully some of them are dead! (I added this as an afterthought)

The Doms (pall-bearers at the cremation Ghats) in the godforsaken crematorium within close proximity to Mamta Ji’s house harassed us when Shayoni’s dad was cremated. I refused to submit to their demands and only when I asked them to screw themselves, did they agree to reduce their honorarium to less than a hundred rupees; this amount too I parted with great reluctance.

We then drove down to the edge of one of the ghats in Kolkata, somewhere close to Judges Ghat where we immersed the ashes, ending one cycle of life while beginning a new one.

Our child was too young to comprehend why so many people had gathered around my mother-in-law that day, but today whenever he sees an older gentleman he does a little dance and says ‘Dadu’ And I am sure Shayoni’s heart warms up a bit.

Life and death are cyclical, but the living have to live!

The Maveric/ Sunil Vaidyanathan


Shayoni's Dad


Anurag with his best friend Luluva 

How Much Are Abortions

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How Safe Is Abortion Pill

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Medical Abortion Pill Risks

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